I'm trying to live like a normal human being (although I have still left exercising out of my day for safety's sake). It works, kinda, except the headaches are back now. It's a Saturday and I haven't done much thinking at all, but my head hurts.
I'm out of guesses here.
...and Go Bucks!
27 October 2007
19 October 2007
I have to admit...
it's getting better. Getting better all the time. (It can't get much worse...)
The new dosage has so far allowed me to walk at a normal pace for pretty much the entire day (with small slow-down periods), pretty decent brain function with only intermittent confusion, and I wasn't mentally spent at work this week until 3:30 pm on Friday.
Of course, I didn't attempt any evening work this week thanks to Tribe ALCS games on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. If I ever get a normal week, we'll see precisely how much better I am. Until then, I pop more pills.
The new dosage has so far allowed me to walk at a normal pace for pretty much the entire day (with small slow-down periods), pretty decent brain function with only intermittent confusion, and I wasn't mentally spent at work this week until 3:30 pm on Friday.
Of course, I didn't attempt any evening work this week thanks to Tribe ALCS games on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. If I ever get a normal week, we'll see precisely how much better I am. Until then, I pop more pills.
15 October 2007
Today's Appointment
I talked with the Nurse Practitioner today (fortunately, Doctor Wolverine left himself out of the discussion this time). The current diagnosis is that all this crap is an aftereffect from the bonk on the head I took back in July. I'll chat with her again in five weeks, but in the meantime, they're increasing my dosage of the D-stuff to 50mg (now 1/3rd of full-strength).
If they're right, I'm happy. If they're right, I'll be getting progressively better throughout the next five weeks. If they aren't right, three months of my productive life will have slipped past the urinal grate, and we'll be right back at Square One.
I mentioned everything that was on our list. She said all the symptoms I have are consistent with "closed-head trauma" or whatever technical term they use for a bonk on the bean. Even symptoms waiting for six weeks to re-spring like that are not unusual, apparently.
I'm going to act as if they're right, and time and medication is the best course of action. I'm going to work through pain more often as if I'm not affected, because being useless doesn't help anybody. That will either make me stronger or make me critical. Either way, a problem gets solved - be it through recovery or by medical emergency forcing somebody in a lab coat to test something.
(At least the NP used some of her medical instruments today. I remember the light thing and the little reflex hammer - that's a start!)
If they're right, I'm happy. If they're right, I'll be getting progressively better throughout the next five weeks. If they aren't right, three months of my productive life will have slipped past the urinal grate, and we'll be right back at Square One.
I mentioned everything that was on our list. She said all the symptoms I have are consistent with "closed-head trauma" or whatever technical term they use for a bonk on the bean. Even symptoms waiting for six weeks to re-spring like that are not unusual, apparently.
I'm going to act as if they're right, and time and medication is the best course of action. I'm going to work through pain more often as if I'm not affected, because being useless doesn't help anybody. That will either make me stronger or make me critical. Either way, a problem gets solved - be it through recovery or by medical emergency forcing somebody in a lab coat to test something.
(At least the NP used some of her medical instruments today. I remember the light thing and the little reflex hammer - that's a start!)
14 October 2007
Asking for Ideas
I go in tomorrow at 3:30 pm. Somebody needs to diagnose something if I'm ever going to get better, and it's painfully obvious that Team Wolverine would rather I take the fore. Problem: I'm semi-retarded.
I have a short list of potential problems / tests to take into the appointment tomorrow that I have gleaned from a variety of sources... mainly you guys. If you have anything to add to the list, please comment to this post.
Currently on the list:
Staph Infection
Pinched Artery in Neck/Shoulder (or other cause of low bloodflow to the brain)
Stress / Depression / Other Chemical Imbalance
Try Blood Test
Try Balance Test (to see if one physical side of head is more affected)
I can't imagine it could be anything other than these since my MRI and CT scans are clean, but my imaginer isn't so good these days. All help is greatly appreciated.
I have a short list of potential problems / tests to take into the appointment tomorrow that I have gleaned from a variety of sources... mainly you guys. If you have anything to add to the list, please comment to this post.
Currently on the list:
Staph Infection
Pinched Artery in Neck/Shoulder (or other cause of low bloodflow to the brain)
Stress / Depression / Other Chemical Imbalance
Try Blood Test
Try Balance Test (to see if one physical side of head is more affected)
I can't imagine it could be anything other than these since my MRI and CT scans are clean, but my imaginer isn't so good these days. All help is greatly appreciated.
12 October 2007
Come On, Monday...
This new dosage would be a lot less bitchabouty if it gave me a two-minute warning before total brain shutdown. Last night on my way back from the Hoover store after a largely successful (but active) day at work, driving into particularly harsh sun-glare was enough of a trigger to shut my brain down. I had no idea where I was, when I should take a left turn or why I was driving to begin with. Fortunately, I hit a couple red lights so I could duct-tape a few brain cells together to manage the drive home.
After eating dinner I was OK until I received four phone calls in about half-an-hour while attempting to do the dishes. Around 8 o'clock or so, I found myself putting away a washed fork... still dripping wet... in the toaster oven.
The pain is still largely gone, and the confusion, rather than running at a constant low voltage, seems to save itself and dogpile me all at once. The visual fuzziness is still around at times (like right now). I think the D-stuff makes me more functional - especially in the 20mg dosage - but I'm definitely not truly better.
Monday afternoon is my appointment. Perhaps Team Wolverine will express some desire to fix my friggin' problem... or at least scientifically approach it. For what they get paid (I saw the insurance EOB - they charged $324 for the hour or less they saw me and got a little over half of that), I damned sure expect some type of effort.
After eating dinner I was OK until I received four phone calls in about half-an-hour while attempting to do the dishes. Around 8 o'clock or so, I found myself putting away a washed fork... still dripping wet... in the toaster oven.
The pain is still largely gone, and the confusion, rather than running at a constant low voltage, seems to save itself and dogpile me all at once. The visual fuzziness is still around at times (like right now). I think the D-stuff makes me more functional - especially in the 20mg dosage - but I'm definitely not truly better.
Monday afternoon is my appointment. Perhaps Team Wolverine will express some desire to fix my friggin' problem... or at least scientifically approach it. For what they get paid (I saw the insurance EOB - they charged $324 for the hour or less they saw me and got a little over half of that), I damned sure expect some type of effort.
07 October 2007
Six Days On - The New Dosage
Interesting so far. Doubling the dosage seems to magnify the effects, both positive and negative. I can do more throughout the day, acting more normal - walk at a nearly normal clip, go for a few hours without confusion, even take on a tough problem or two - but when I'm done, I crash.
Once I'm out of mental energy, I'm useless. I can't even control my personality very well, often reverting to whipped-puppy mode. It's terribly annoying, for me and doubly so for Sally, but I'm getting no help from Team Wolverine. My next appointment with them is October 15 - all I can hope is they at least pretend to give a shit and run some kind of science-based tests or something. I'm not a fan of paying professional rates for guesses.
Once I'm out of mental energy, I'm useless. I can't even control my personality very well, often reverting to whipped-puppy mode. It's terribly annoying, for me and doubly so for Sally, but I'm getting no help from Team Wolverine. My next appointment with them is October 15 - all I can hope is they at least pretend to give a shit and run some kind of science-based tests or something. I'm not a fan of paying professional rates for guesses.
02 October 2007
Double Dose
I got a hold of Doctor Wolverine's secretary yesterday regarding the backsliding. She conferred with His Weaseliness and authorized doubling the dosage of that D-stuff to 20mg. I'm now at 1/7.5th of depression strength, so I'm not concerned yet. Let's just hope it works.
The pain is largely gone, but the increased dosage makes my head itch (it did the same when I went from 0 to 10mg, so that's no surprise). The problem is when I scratch my head, my brain goes blank. I have an Etch-A-Sketch on my neck now - which is no good at all, because I can barely draw boxes on an Etch-A-Sketch.
The pain is largely gone, but the increased dosage makes my head itch (it did the same when I went from 0 to 10mg, so that's no surprise). The problem is when I scratch my head, my brain goes blank. I have an Etch-A-Sketch on my neck now - which is no good at all, because I can barely draw boxes on an Etch-A-Sketch.
28 September 2007
Improvement Has Stopped
Last week it felt like my improvement may have plateaued... now it feels like I may even be backsliding. The dizziness and confusion are back in spurts and I can take a three-hour nap at the word "Go!" any time of the day. Even the dull throb makes a cameo every once in a while, although I wouldn't quite call it pain.
My next appointment with Doctor Wolverine isn't until October 15. If the backslide doesn't stop, I'll have to call them for an earlier follow-up. Maybe NNA (the neurology place) can go to the bullpen and set me up with a different doctor - one who doesn't speak in riddles to a person whose main complaint is confusion and inability to think...
My next appointment with Doctor Wolverine isn't until October 15. If the backslide doesn't stop, I'll have to call them for an earlier follow-up. Maybe NNA (the neurology place) can go to the bullpen and set me up with a different doctor - one who doesn't speak in riddles to a person whose main complaint is confusion and inability to think...
24 September 2007
So Long Summer Of Suck
Let's all hope autumn works out really well - mainly because I'll be an even more miserable pain in the ass to be around if it doesn't, and Sally has to have caught her limit of me by now.
My recovery seems to have plateaued (how the hell do you spell that word anyway?) I'm largely functional in small doses, but physical activity still puts the sledgehammer to my brain. Basically the D-stuff at its current dosage holds he at the Caesar the Wrestling Bear level of functionality - just enough to get the job done, but nowhere near enough to be dangerous.
My hand weights mock me. Grumble...
My recovery seems to have plateaued (how the hell do you spell that word anyway?) I'm largely functional in small doses, but physical activity still puts the sledgehammer to my brain. Basically the D-stuff at its current dosage holds he at the Caesar the Wrestling Bear level of functionality - just enough to get the job done, but nowhere near enough to be dangerous.
My hand weights mock me. Grumble...
18 September 2007
Six Days On...
After six days of the D-stuff, the pain is no longer constant, the throbbing, disorientation and spot-seeing are way down, I only slur when I'm really tired, and the drooling is pretty much gone. Physical exertion brings it all back in spades, though.
So far, so not bad. We've got a few more weeks yet - next appointment with Doctor Wolverine is on October 15.
Here's hoping...
So far, so not bad. We've got a few more weeks yet - next appointment with Doctor Wolverine is on October 15.
Here's hoping...
13 September 2007
The Appointment
Sally and I went to the doctor appointment yesterday and described everything to three different levels of doctor people. Their expert conclusion: I have headaches. I'm so glad we paid them for that!
On the bright-ish side, all the tests show no physical damage to my brain. Of course, because those are the only empirical tests the doctor people had available to them, their theories were nearly as unmoored in hard science as mine, so they recommended a course of "treatment" hopefully based on experience in the headache-treating arena.
I'm on a very low dose of some D-word drug normally prescribed for depression (my dosage is 10mg, depression dosage is usually 150mg) for a month to see if it works. A month. If it works, yay. If not, I may be this retarded for four more weeks and no closer to an answer. If it sorta works, we tweak the dosage.
I appreciate the openness of the Main Doctor when he says he's not 100% sure that this D-stuff is The Answer. I appreciate the low-wattage trial dosage to reduce the chances of my trading one horrid headfuck for another. I also have never heard of headaches being a core problem rather than a symptom - but I don't get paid for hearing about nerve/head problems and presumably he does.
I'm no fan of being a pincushion for the pharmaceutical industry, but I'm less of a fan of being a moaning zombie, a danger to driving society, and a burden to my family. Since Doctor Man laid what few cards any of us have on the table, I'm willing to play.
More later.
On the bright-ish side, all the tests show no physical damage to my brain. Of course, because those are the only empirical tests the doctor people had available to them, their theories were nearly as unmoored in hard science as mine, so they recommended a course of "treatment" hopefully based on experience in the headache-treating arena.
I'm on a very low dose of some D-word drug normally prescribed for depression (my dosage is 10mg, depression dosage is usually 150mg) for a month to see if it works. A month. If it works, yay. If not, I may be this retarded for four more weeks and no closer to an answer. If it sorta works, we tweak the dosage.
I appreciate the openness of the Main Doctor when he says he's not 100% sure that this D-stuff is The Answer. I appreciate the low-wattage trial dosage to reduce the chances of my trading one horrid headfuck for another. I also have never heard of headaches being a core problem rather than a symptom - but I don't get paid for hearing about nerve/head problems and presumably he does.
I'm no fan of being a pincushion for the pharmaceutical industry, but I'm less of a fan of being a moaning zombie, a danger to driving society, and a burden to my family. Since Doctor Man laid what few cards any of us have on the table, I'm willing to play.
More later.
11 September 2007
Still Here, Still Afflicted
I haven't made the time to post for a while, since I've been either too busy or too dizzy for every friggin' minute of my life since my last post. Nothing has changed - no better and no worse. Take that as it is.
Tomorrow is my first appointment with my neurologist. As I told Bruce, if I don't get some sense of direction from tomorrow's appointment, I may just go Virginia Tech on a few K-Street health-insurance lobbying firms. My reasons are both cathartic and practical, since were I a prisoner, I'd have gotten answers about my head condition in less than two f#$%ing weeks.
Tomorrow is my first appointment with my neurologist. As I told Bruce, if I don't get some sense of direction from tomorrow's appointment, I may just go Virginia Tech on a few K-Street health-insurance lobbying firms. My reasons are both cathartic and practical, since were I a prisoner, I'd have gotten answers about my head condition in less than two f#$%ing weeks.
02 September 2007
What Is Wrong With You?
I'm confused and/or dizzy on and off. Any physical exertion above walking at grampa's pace reignites the stabbing headache (which makes me think there's some neuro-vascular connection). Occasionally (like right now) I see the haloes or spots that precede a migraine. I can't read a physical newspaper anymore because the multi-article layout prevents me from focusing on any one piece (on-line single-article news reading is still pretty much OK, so long as it doesn't make me think.) Thinking causes pain (could be blood-to-brain related like above), but well-learned / reflex and natural mental activities are still largely unaffected. My Wednesday night trivia skillz are still quite mad indeed - that's simple recall.
Other things that I had before the incident but have gotten worse since:
(a) I drop things. My hands sometimes don't do what I tell them to.
(b) Spaghetti legs. Sometimes my knees don't hold when I take a step forward.
(c) Slurring of speech.
(d) Confusion to the point of abject frustration, especially in getting words from my brain to my mouth.
(e) My desire for hot caffeinated beverages borders on the insatiable. It's almost to the point where I'll drink office coffee... almost.
(f) Drooling. Seriously. My involuntary saliva production has increased astronomically. I'm not proud, I'm just sayin'.
More as I recall them. Watch this space.
Other things that I had before the incident but have gotten worse since:
(a) I drop things. My hands sometimes don't do what I tell them to.
(b) Spaghetti legs. Sometimes my knees don't hold when I take a step forward.
(c) Slurring of speech.
(d) Confusion to the point of abject frustration, especially in getting words from my brain to my mouth.
(e) My desire for hot caffeinated beverages borders on the insatiable. It's almost to the point where I'll drink office coffee... almost.
(f) Drooling. Seriously. My involuntary saliva production has increased astronomically. I'm not proud, I'm just sayin'.
More as I recall them. Watch this space.
What The Hell Happened To You?
Monday morning 27 August 2007, I was doing my pushups when I felt a little twinge just above my left eyebrow. I was immediately overwhelmed with a stabbing pain in my head and nausea. The shower didn't get rid of it. I called off (and I simply don't call off from my new job - I like and respect these people too much) and made couch until my doctor's appointment.
Ever since, I've been confused and/or dizzy on and off. Any physical exertion above walking at grampa's pace reignites the stabbing headache (which makes me think there's some neuro-vascular connection). Occasionally (like right now) I see the haloes or spots that precede a migraine.
My primary physician isn't a head or nerve specialist, so she redirected me to a neurologist. The earliest any neurologist in my network can visit with me is September 12, so I have a good ten days to remain in this state without any answers. The suckery is beginning to mount, but there isn't a whole hell of a lot we can do about it. Eventually, we'll find workable threshholds of activity and try to stick to them - for now we walk blindly forward until we hit a wall, then stop.
Ever since, I've been confused and/or dizzy on and off. Any physical exertion above walking at grampa's pace reignites the stabbing headache (which makes me think there's some neuro-vascular connection). Occasionally (like right now) I see the haloes or spots that precede a migraine.
My primary physician isn't a head or nerve specialist, so she redirected me to a neurologist. The earliest any neurologist in my network can visit with me is September 12, so I have a good ten days to remain in this state without any answers. The suckery is beginning to mount, but there isn't a whole hell of a lot we can do about it. Eventually, we'll find workable threshholds of activity and try to stick to them - for now we walk blindly forward until we hit a wall, then stop.
Purpose of the Blog
Primarily, I'm putting this baby together so I only have to write the details once so all my friends and family are up to speed. My concentration and patience levels aren't too far above the carpet level right now, but I want all the people I care about to have an idea as to why I'm flakier than usual.
This little puppy has me probably more scared for myself than I have ever been in my life. I'm logging my thoughts, feelings, theories (and soliciting yours as well) while I'm still capable of using the English language in its written form to maximize the potential good and/or minimize potential trauma.
I truly don't know the extent of the damage done, but six days on I'm still nowhere near 50% of my "old" self. The last couple days have beed somewhat less bad, but the last couple days have been a weekend during which Sally has protected me from having to do much in the way of thinking, deciding, choosing or really doing anything. That vacation ends Tuesday - I'm fully aware that the worst of it could come right back then.
WARNINGS: This blog will not be nearly as fun / entertaining / snarky as my other stuff. Any amusement or enjoyment factor will be derived from natural sources - I'm going to be pretty straightforward here. Thus any criticism of quality of content or tactical writing flaws (spelling, punctuation, etc.) will be met with derision heretofore unexperienced by any living being in Earth's history not named Pauly Shore.
This little puppy has me probably more scared for myself than I have ever been in my life. I'm logging my thoughts, feelings, theories (and soliciting yours as well) while I'm still capable of using the English language in its written form to maximize the potential good and/or minimize potential trauma.
I truly don't know the extent of the damage done, but six days on I'm still nowhere near 50% of my "old" self. The last couple days have beed somewhat less bad, but the last couple days have been a weekend during which Sally has protected me from having to do much in the way of thinking, deciding, choosing or really doing anything. That vacation ends Tuesday - I'm fully aware that the worst of it could come right back then.
WARNINGS: This blog will not be nearly as fun / entertaining / snarky as my other stuff. Any amusement or enjoyment factor will be derived from natural sources - I'm going to be pretty straightforward here. Thus any criticism of quality of content or tactical writing flaws (spelling, punctuation, etc.) will be met with derision heretofore unexperienced by any living being in Earth's history not named Pauly Shore.
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